Army of God PJs
Your kids won't get raptured if Jesus returns and they're wearing Harry Potter or SpongeBob PJs. Make the righteous choice and put them to bed in Army of God PJs. They're just what every kid wants. And just in time for Christmas. From the website:
The whole Armor of God Pajama set will help your children to depend on God to protect them from their fears, doubts, and uncertainties at night so their sleep can be restful and peaceful.
It's too bad they don't make these for adults. We could all use a little rapture-assurance while we're sleeping.