Just in time for Christmas, the fine folks at Garrett County Press have released the perfect stocking stuffer for all you Pat Robertson fans: The Pat Robertson and Friends Coloring Book.

And to promote the book "Garrett County Press asked favorite artists to "color in" pages from Kevin Stone's latest project... The artists, who range from Philadelphia designers to Bangkok street artists, were given simple instructions: pick your favorite page and have fun."

Here's two examples:

You can view the entire gallery here. [Thanks John]

It's like Footloose, all over again. [From the AFP, Hat Tip The Right Reverend Rabbi Judah]

The dirty dancing of teenagers at school functions and prom nights is reportedly getting educators across the United States hot and bothered.

The teenage dance craze of "freaking" -- where couples rub and grind against each other -- has been branded as simulated sex by school officials and has led to concern across the nation, the Los Angeles Times reported.

It cited the principal of Aliso Niguel High School in Aliso Viejo, California, who had recently banned all school dances until a plan could be found to ban "freak dancing."

The school's principal, Charles Salter, implored parents to play a leading role in stamping out the craze and said he had even showed a video of the school dance to hundreds of parents.

"The 'dancing' of our youngsters today is one step from events that should be occurring on wedding nights," he wrote in an e-mail to parents.

Shana Kemp, a spokeswoman for the National Association of Secondary School Principals, told the Times the organisation had received an increase in calls seeking advice about how to tackle the craze.

"Each generation has its own thing that adults think is inappropriate," she said.

"It's just par for the course for the changing of the times," she said. "But in some instances, it's taken too far."

From the NY Times [hat tip Gawker]

There were several big changes, including -- in a truly gymnastic display of irony -- a scene in which some hipsters in a cafe decide to put on a show poking fun at fundamentalist Christians (they are quickly attacked by demons). READ IT ALL

DAILYKOS founder Markos Moulitsas wants to create "megachurches for the left"

From Wired, hat tip Jesus Politics

At what’s arguably the top of his game, Moulitsas says he’s “going offline” next year, taking his obvious knack for building online communities and applying it to that other great American pastime: sports. And once he gets his network of sports blogs ramped up, he’ll turn to building communities in the real world, a chain of giant meeting places “replicating megachurches for the left”—complete with cafes and child care. Moulitsas has shown he can harness people’s enthusiasm, but he says he doesn’t want a leadership role in these “democracy centers”…

While working on the mechanics of the sports blogs, he plans to embark next year on building real-world destinations for progressives and liberals throughout the Midwest, “cultural outposts” designed to attract thousands of like-minded liberals. “Each one of these would have a vast left-wing conspiracy component,” he says, like leadership training or discussions on progressive issues.

Turns out, Fox News tool, Mike Gallagher, has agreed to give them air time on his radio show instead. From Fox

Gallagher said that church officials would have to sign a document making them liable for the airtime if they broke their promise not to demonstrate.

"It's awful for me to give up an hour of my radio show ... but I think it’s worth the sacrifice to keep them away," Gallagher said.

Now this will undoubtedly be a BIGGER story because of Gallagher.

The insanity of Fred Phelps' group is astonishing. Here's a quote attributed to his daughter:

Everyone is sitting around talking about those poor little girls -- blah, blah, blah -- they brought the wrath upon themselves... [the Amish] don't serve God, they serve themselves."

Read the whole Fox News story here. Hat Tip Gawker.

See the above article on torture.

Since we all need a little levity, here's an oldie but a goodie: Robert Tilton Speaking in tongues:

[Thanks Ethan!]

From Denver Post, [Hat tip The Rev]

If he thought Thornton was sinful, wait till Pastor Keenan Roberts gets a load of New York City.

Roberts' "Hell House," an evangelical Halloween haunted house that depicts cheerleaders having abortions and fetuses made of hamburger meat, will be presented as a legitimate off- Broadway stage offering starting Oct. 1.

Roberts is the senior pastor of New Destiny Christian Center in Thornton. His "Hell House" has been seen by more than 50,000 people in Colorado since 1995 and has spawned 3,000 copycats nationwide.

Continue reading ""Hell House" To Become Off-Broadway Play" »

From Tennessee First Coast News [via The Rev]

Swanson Developments, has three [Christian] projects going up in Rutherford County, TN with names like Victory Station, Kingdom Ridge and Providence Pointe.

"We just wanted to do it," said [developer] Joe Swanson. "It's just a family thing. We feel we're blessed."

The entrance to Kingdom Ridge looks like the entrance to a church, with white pillars set in stone. These markers stand just off Highway 96, where Covenant Street begins. A few rocks and clumps of dirt cover the road from the continuing construction, but it leads to an image of small-town America with $130,000-$250,000 brick and vinyl homes grouped together.

"When we started Victory Station, we named some of the streets there with biblical names," he said. "It's just, 'why not? Why call it Cherry Street?'" READ IT ALL

The Grave of Christ is a tourist attraction in Japan

From the BBC via Religious Freaks

A Japanese legend claims that Jesus escaped Jerusalem and made his way to Aomori in Japan where he became a rice farmer. Christians say the story is nonsense. However, a monument there known as the Grave of Christ attracts curious visitors from all over the world.

To reach the Grave of Christ or Kristo no Hakka as it is known locally, you need to head deep into the northern countryside of Japan, a place of paddy fields and apple orchards. Halfway up a remote mountain surrounded by a thicket of bamboo lies a mound of bare earth marked with a large wooden cross.

Most visitors peer at the grave curiously and pose in front of the cross for a photograph before heading off for apple ice cream at the nearby cafe. But some pilgrims leave coins in front of the grave in thanks for answered prayers.

The cross is a confusing symbol because according to the local legend, Jesus did not die at Calvary. His place was taken by one of his brothers, who for some reason is now buried by his side in Japan.

The story goes that after escaping Jerusalem, Jesus made his way across Russia and Siberia to Aomori in the far north of Japan where he became a rice farmer, married, had a family and died peacefully at the age of 114.

A villager hinted that I might be able to meet one of Jesus' descendents - a Mr Sajiro Sawaguchi, who is now in his 80s. READ IT ALL

This is funny. From Wonkette.

A wacky website claims Chelsea Clinton is now openly worshipping a political figure mightier than Karl Rove and Hillary Clinton combined: The Devil. According to Red-Ice.net, the youngest Clinton is wearing an inverted cross out in public. To many Americans, an upside-down cross is a symbol of Satanic worship. But to some Catholics, it’s just a cool way to remember St. Peter, who legend says was crucified upside down like a bat. Chelsea’s not Catholic, as far as we know, so we have to assume she’s now working for Satan.

Visit the "wacky website" here.

From World Net Daily [thanks Gerald]

An evangelist who tried replicating Jesus' miracle of walking on water has reportedly drowned off the western coast of Africa. Pastor Franck Kabele, 35, told his congregation he could repeat the biblical miracle, and he attempted it from a beach in Gabon's capital of Libreville.

"He told churchgoers he'd had a revelation that if he had enough faith, he could walk on water like Jesus," an eyewitness told the Glasgow Daily Record.

"He took his congregation to the beach saying he would walk across the Komo estuary, which takes 20 minutes by boat. He walked into the water, which soon passed over his head and he never came back."

From CNN

Former Whitewater special counsel Kenneth Starr petitioned the U.S. Supreme Court to take up Alaska's "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" case, a dispute involving a high school student, a banner and a tough school policy.

Starr, who gained national prominence while investigating former President Clinton's Whitewater land deal and relationship with Monica Lewinsky, filed the petition Monday on behalf of the Juneau School District in response to a March ruling by the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals.

The appeals court sided with a high school student who displayed a banner reading "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" during an Olympic torch relay in 2002. It ruled former Juneau-Douglas High School principal Deborah Morse violated former student Joseph Frederick's free speech rights.

The U.S. Supreme Court petition must receive a minimum of four of the nine justices' votes to be heard.

Continue reading "WTF?!! Ken Starr Encourages High Court To Consider 'Bong Hits 4 Jesus' Case" »

Be careful next time you're eating a bologna sandwich. Evidently the mother of Jesus loves to show up in your food. From CNN [thanks Carlos]

"For me, it was a sign," Cruz Jacinto says of finding the chocolate icon that matches her prayer card. Jacinto says the white speck is the head of the Baby Jesus held in Mary's folded arms.

And who could forget the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich?!

[From the BBC]

A decade-old toasted cheese sandwich said to bear an image of the Virgin Mary has sold on the eBay auction website for $28,000..... Diane Duyser, from Florida, says the sandwich has never gone mouldy since she made it 10 years ago... Mrs Duyser told reporters the sandwich had brought her luck - including winnings of $70,000 at a casino near her Florida home....I went to take a bite out of it, and then I saw this lady looking back at me. I hollered for [my husband]. It scared me at first

It's Not Unusual.... well, maybe it is

[from BBC, hat tip Right Rev Rabbi Judah]

A US preacher who has set up a church dedicated to the Welsh sex symbol and crooner Tom Jones has denied using religion in vain.

Pastor Jack Stahl said Jones's "soulful, spiritual and supernatural" voice helps him contact God.

The minister, based in Sacramento, California, uses his music in baptisms, marriages, funerals and exorcisms.

"I'm using his voice to get in touch with God and there's nothing wrong with that," he said.

Jones is not the first personality to have a church dedicated to him. He shares the honour with Elvis Presley and jazz saxophonist John Coltrane.

Continue reading "What's New Pussycat? A Church Devoted To Tom Jones" »

OK, this is more about "the base" than the evangelical right, but Toby Keith terrifies us. And since we're on the subject of Toby Keith, we simply *must* visit Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar & Grill. The website claims “We got cowboys; we got truckers; Broken hearted fools and suckers, Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm... Enjoy one of our signature blue Cabo Wabo Margaritas featuring rock singer Sammy Hagar’s tequila." And of course, they have freedom fries.
[thanks Jason]

Mayor RainDance: David Miller, the Mayor of Lubbard Texas

We guess we shouldn't be surprised by this headline, given Miller's statements to the press after becoming mayor:

"Mostly I'm grateful to our heavenly Father for giving us the energy and the vision and support we needed...." said an excited Miller when he learned of his victory.... "It is about Him."

If you elect a snake handler to govern you, we suppose crazy shit like this is par for the course: [from UPI]

Public officials in Lubbock, Texas, are organizing a day to pray for rain.

"Nobody is going to tell God what to do and what not to do, but we are in a serious drought in West Texas and since he is the man who controls the rain clouds, we're asking him for his mercy and his help," Mayor David Miller told the Lubbock Avalanche-Journal.

The City Council and the Lubbock County commissioners are expected to adopt resolutions this week asking local residents to both pray and fast for rain this Sunday.

So far this year, Lubbock has received about half of its normal 10 inches. In the weeks since June 1, the growing season for cotton, rainfall has been a scant .75 inches, far less than the normal 4.43 inches.

Officials have tried prayers before and say they were answered. In January 2004, after a year of drought, the city and county set aside a Sunday to pray for rain and got the second-wettest year since records have been kept.

uh --- just read the story. From the AP

A pagan religion that some experts say can be interpreted as encouraging violence is gaining popularity among prison inmates, one of whom is scheduled to be executed this week for killing a fellow prisoner at the foot of an altar.

Michael Lenz is scheduled to die Thursday for the death of Brent Parker, who was stabbed dozens of times at Augusta Correctional Center during a gathering of inmates devoted to Asatru, whose followers worship Norse gods. At his trial, Lenz testified that Parker had not been taking the religion seriously and had to die to protect the honor of the gods.

Other followers call the religion misunderstood and say most adherent inmates do not use it to further violent agendas.

Asatru has been gaining popularity among inmates, say religious leaders and prison experts who believe its roots in Viking mythology attract prisoners seeking power, protection and unity.

The gang culture in prison also contributes, said theologian Britt Minshall, a former police officer and Baltimore pastor who ministers to inmates. Some white inmates who felt threatened by black prison gangs formed their own gangs and sought out a belief system they felt would provide additional security, he said.

"It's a way of grouping together for safety," he said. "And you have to have a god in the middle of that to really keep you safe."

Asatru is often referred to as Odinism, although some followers believe the two are separate religions. It is a polytheistic, pre-Christian faith native to Scandinavia whose adherents worship gods including Thor and Odin.

Continue reading "Viking-Based Paganism Gaining Popularity In Prison" »

[Via Church Marketing Sucks]

Someone covered up a billboard on La Branch at Winbern with a poster featuring a picture of Jesus Christ holding a Budweiser can. The company that leases the billboard believes vandals made the poster at home and then pasted it on top of the ad that's supposed to be there. It shows Jesus holding a Budweiser in between the phrases "Jesus, King of Jews" and "Jesus, King of Beers."

"I thought that was just crazy," said commuter Jose Cazares. "It looks professional too."

In her upcoming autogiographical novel, The Expected One, Kathleen McGowan claims to be a direct descendent of Jesus. Just like Audrey Tatou in The Da Vinci Code. Evidently Simon & Schuster didn't hire a fact checker on this one. McGowan claims Mary Magdaleen comes to her in visions and provides zero proof of her claims [from USA Today]

[McGowan's] first vision of Mary Magdalene took place during a visit to Jerusalem in 1997. She experienced vertigo and saw a blinding flash. She then saw Mary Magdalene, surrounded by an angry mob, walking toward the mount where Jesus would be crucified....

So far, McGowan is offering only her word about her lineage and only hints at her proof. In addition to the visions, she says, she has discovered that her family is related to an ancient French lineage that traces its roots to Jesus and Mary Magdalene's descendants. Legend holds that Mary Magdalene settled in France after Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection. "That's all I'm prepared to say right now," McGowan says. Some members of her family, she explains, want her to respect their privacy and not discuss it.

According to Reuters, the Reverend at Kenneth Lay's memorial service compared the crooked CEO to Jesus, not to mention Martin Luther King. The ceremony was attended by other saints including George Bush Sr., James Baker, and undoubtedly a multitude of God's holiest angels seated invisibly in the rafters above. Here are some other highlights from Reverend Dr. Bill Lawson's speech:

"I know he's in heaven, and I'm glad he's not in a position anymore to be whipped by his enemy"
[...]
"He was taken out of the world right at the right time..." Rev. Lawson said. "History has a way of vindicating people who have been wronged."

Amen Rev. Lawson. Your words will undoubtedly be inspirational to the thousands of mourning ex-Enron employees and stockholders nationwide. It's good to know Kenny Boy is free at last with MLK in Heaven. [Thanks Heather]

The New Jews for Jesus Tract (Click for larger)

[via Gizmodo, thanks Bret]

"What's next for iPod Guy? [...] Steve, you might run circles around circuits. But reality is found in Jesus. iKnow and uShould too.... Isn't it time you asked God to give you a new OS?

Related: Jews for Jesus use MTA logos to seek conversions [Gawker]

What makes this the most bizarre is the simple fact that it's not a parody. Via Jesus General

via UPI.com [Thanks Snails]

Some New York Jewish leaders are reported up in arms over a subway ad campaign urging acceptance of Jesus as the Messiah. The ads were posted at subway stops and the Times Square station by the Jews for Jesus organization as part of a million-dollar campaign, the New York Post said.

Several riders, on seeing the signs for the first time, voiced displeasure, finding them offensive and inappropriate, the Post said.

The transit authority told the newspaper the signs do not violate its rules that ban only discrimination on the basis of race, gender or sexual orientation or certain subjects inappropriate for children.

Turns out, the conversion-happy group is putting more resources into converting New York. From the NY Times:

During previous summers in New York, a small group of Jews for Jesus missionaries concentrated on Manhattan. This year the group plans to make its presence known in all five boroughs, as well in Westchester and Rockland Counties, in northern New Jersey and on Long Island.... With a campaign budget of roughly $1.4 million, Jews for Jesus has already sent out mailings to 400,000 Jewish homes in the area and DVD's in Yiddish about Jesus to 80,000 Orthodox homes. It has launched a marketing campaign with radio spots and subway and newspaper ads featuring the slogan "Jesus for Jews."

Our "favorite" Jews for Jesus outreach is a tract that features a cartoon image of Howard Stern. We spotted one on the F Train at 42nd Street last week. [From Forward.com]

"Howard Stern - A Jew for Jesus?" it reads, pointing out similarities between Mr. Stern and the organization: Both aren't "afraid to break the old models," both "have respect for God's creation" and both care about "talking truth." A spokeswoman for Mr. Stern, who is Jewish, said he has no affiliation with the organization and thinks the ads are "trash."

From BusinessWeek via Bartholomew's Notes

John Brown, a born-again Christian who believes the Bible will guide him to oil and gas in Israel, is planning to test the faith of investors in the U.S. in the next few weeks. The Texas-based novice oilman who founded Zion Oil & Gas is aiming to raise between $2.45 million and $14 million in an initial public offering, tentatively slated for July, to fund drilling at a kibbutz northeast of Tel Aviv. God, Brown says, "has promised in the Bible to bless Israel with one of the world's largest oil and gas fields."

It may take some Divine help for him to pull the venture off. Hundreds of wells have been drilled in Israel in the past 60 years, but none has yielded significant production...

He claims that some 6,000 people—many probably U.S. evangelicals—contacted Zion about buying shares. "We can tell from the way they communicated that some are Christian evangelical ones that believe those who help Israel will be blessed," says Zion Chief Executive Officer Eugene Soltero. Read it All

we all know who the real antiChrist is

Happy Devil Day... otherwise known as The National Day of Slayer.

(photo Lucy Pemoni / For LA Times)

From LA Times

If Jesus were alive today, he would be a surfer. He would mingle with fishermen and beach bums and lay his mat on the sand among the scantily clad. Instead of walking on water, he would ride waves on a carved piece of fiberglass, keeping an eye out for anyone who needed saving. This is what Dean Sabate and his friends believe.

They are surfers for Jesus. Today they are on Waikiki Beach doing what they believe Jesus would be doing. While others might see a frolicking crowd, Sabate and his group see sprinkled among the masses a few lost souls who need tending.

"This is our ministry, being out here, being in the ocean, making friends," says Sabate, 42. He is a former pro surfer, muscular and bronzed.

Continue reading "Surfers for Jesus" »

From the AP:

They're planning a hot time in Hell on Tuesday. The day bears the date of 6-6-06, or abbreviated as 666 - a number that carries hellish significance. And there's not a snowball's chance in Hell that the day will go unnoticed in the unincorporated hamlet 60 miles west of Detroit.

Nobody is more fired up than John Colone, the town's self-styled mayor and owner of a souvenir shop.

"I've got '666' T-shirts and mugs. I'm only ordering 666 (of the items) so once they're gone, that's it," said Colone, also known as Odum Plenty. "Everyone who comes will get a letter of authenticity saying you've celebrated June 6, 2006, in Hell."

Continue reading "Hell, Michigan Gearing Up For A Hell Of A Time On 6/6/06" »

[From United Press Int'l]

A woman in England due to give birth on June 6 is fighting with her hospital to induce her sooner to avoid delivering on the demonic date of 6/6/6.

Melissa Parker, 30, said as a fan of "The Omen," a movie about a demonic child, she's genuinely concerned about the numerology involved, The Sun reported Tuesday.

"I'm terrified the birth will go wrong or the child will have evil in him or her," Parker said. "Even worse my beautiful baby could be the devil himself -- the anti-Christ."

The figure 666 is mentioned in the Bible and various cultures believe it represents the date the anti-Christ will appear on Earth, but that doesn't hold any water at the Royal Berkshire Hospital.

A hospital spokesman said Parker's request for an induction was refused because due dates are not 100 percent certain.

"There is little we can do to change them without a Caesarean or inducing the child, which we try to avoid," the spokesman said. "We must let nature take its course. The baby will be born when ready, no matter what day it is."

We must have missed all of those bible passages about the virtue of getting rich from cheap labor. From the Washington Post:

"In August 1999, political organizer Ralph Reed's firm sent out a mailer to Alabama conservative Christians asking them to call then-Rep. Bob Riley (R-Ala.) and tell him to vote against legislation that would have made the U.S. commonwealth of Northern Mariana Islands subject to federal wage and worker safety laws.

Now those seven-year-old words are coming back to haunt Reed, the former executive director of the Christian Coalition and a candidate for the Republican nomination to be Georgia's lieutenant governor.

'The radical left, the Big Labor Union Bosses, and Bill Clinton want to pass a law preventing Chinese from coming to work on the Marianas Islands,' the mailer from Reed's firm said. The Chinese workers, it added, 'are exposed to the teachings of Jesus Christ' while on the islands, and many 'are converted to the Christian faith and return to China with Bibles in hand.'

Read the Washington Post article here. [Via Huff Post]